How do you know the person you married/marrying is the one.

As per the title, I paused for a moment before coming out with an answer.
A quote from someone somewhere:

"You should not marry someone who you can live with, but someone you cannot live without."

And after analyzing this statment, I concluded that I cannot live without my wife and I wish it will continue to stay this way :)

Weekend

Went to catch Hancock in town after Hubby got off from work. If not for the fact that I have movie vouchers from Shaw Theatres, I will never watched movie on a weekend nor in Shaw!

I dislike the Shaw theatres! These theatres are in town and my gosh the seats and the theatre is so run down. =/ Sigh... and it must be just our luck. Everytime, we go to watch movies in Shaw, the people sitting beside us are the kind that keeps talking! Once in Shaw Bugis and this time in Shaw Orchard!

My goodness. So irriating can! Come here to watch movie or to talk?!

And the ticket sales ppl in Bugis are the worse lot! I queue to buy tickets like any others and there was 1 counter which was empty though it was stated "telephone / online booking" but there was NO one in the queue at all. I'm too used to the GV system, hence I went to the counter, that man at the counter, pointed to the tag and turned away from me!!! Damn! What kind of service is this?!

I understand it's online / telephone booking, but NO one in the queue and the normal queue was long, hence he shd open his counter ma.

Argh!

Anyway minus the staff and seats and irriating talking people in the movie theatre, Hancock is a nice show. Go catch it if you've not watched it yet.

Went for the sunset mass in St Peter and Paul then we walked down to Clarke Quay for dinner.

Hubby suddenly have the inspiration to have dinner at Fisherman's Wharf, hence, we slowly made our way there from Bugis. It's quite near actually and the evening was breezy and cooling, hence of course, we took a slow stroll there.

Our first time to Fisherman's Wharf. We've passed by a few times and each time, we thought that the place will be expensive hence, we always give it a miss... but wow... we are surprised by the costs!

We had a dory something something with drinks each and well.... it's nothing to be crazy over with.... tastes very normal.... I think Botak Jones Fish & Chips are better as compared.

But the tables and chairs caught my eyes.... All wooden and it's not the usual restaurant where they air-con the whole place. It's fan and well, pray for windy nights too. I think the upper level is some MLM thing as there are ppl who comes and go into the place and up they went.

Another thing that caught my eye was the murals on the wall. HUGE!

Whole wall was plastered with some sea scene la, cannot capture as there were ppl sitting at the table in the middle of the mural.

But, I personally dislike the service there. Granted, this place is not the high class kind of eatery hence, not to expect very good service. But hey! This IS an eatery right? Then how come, every and I really mean EVERY 4 seater has a "reserved" tag on it the moment the table is cleared of leftovers and general mess?!

Then, the staff will be standing around at the counter chit chatting and looking glum. =/ Sigh..... They want business or not wan?!

Only the small tables, 2 seaters were open and the table is small lor, so with just a main each (which is served in a woven basket) and drinks, there's no space for share any sides or anything at all la.

Anyway, I guess, it's either you like it or you dislike it, as Hubby's colleague loves this place and we were... well.... don't share that feeling. I guess, the only only good thing that came out was, we got a few glimse of the NDP firworks thru reflections on the glass panels of The Central.

Fisherman's Wharf is located at 27/29 New Bridge Road, can't miss it, it's opp The Cental. But honestly, I'll recommend Botak Jones anytime!

Thoughts

Was having dinner at my parents' place earlier and was just chatting with my mom over nothing of significant importance.

Was sharing with her that I have a lousy manager and that he hates me. Though my chicky pox was so long ago, now, he'll still bring it up to remind me whenever I'm on MC...

I was also then telling my mom, if he mentions about my long hospitalization leave last year, I'll bring it up to the big boss and complain about him.

And at this point in time, my mom became very excited. She began to tell me that I should being to take more nutritious food to build up my body so that we can be prepared for a BB. =/ And that her friends are telling her what I should be eating and all etc etc. My mom said she's afraid to cook / prepare all these tonics for me since we're still studying and if I really get pregnant then there's lots more other issues to think and to solve. The conclusion? Wait till we finished our course next year then she'll do all these.

I know the parents (seems to be mine, especially) are very excited for us to get pregnant and to produce them some little ones... But, we are the ones who have to pay and educate and go thru the whole process, are we ready?

I also know that one can never be too ready or too prepared... I mean, no matter how prepared one is, there can always be other things that are unexpected and not turn out the way we want or wished it to be.

I'm really in 2 minds. One on hand, I simply am very comfortable with our current lifestyle and have no wish for it to change. On the other hand, Hubby and the rest of the world wants to have children.

I know that it is the responsibility of married couples to reproduce... Just as God has also said, to multiply. But, can I be a good parent?

Isn't it worse if we bring our children to the world and then simply have no time, no energy, no attention on them? Leave them to the care of others? I know for certain this is not what I want for my children. I grew up with my grandmother as both my parents are working day and night to make ends meet. I hardly see my parents when I was young. Needless to say, I'm not close to them at all. It's only till recently that my mom and I gets along better. I still have not manage to bring myself to speak to my dad. He's a stranger to me. I don't know him and I doubt he knows me. Many can say, then it's up to me to make the first move to get back to him and to mend our relationship bah bah bah.... Honestly, I know I should. But I don't.

It's hard to grow up in a family where your father don't care 2 hoots about you and then to grow up and say... oh ya.... let begones be begones, we start anew and fresh. I wish I can. But I can't. I don't have the courage nor the 'want' to do it.

So many can say, I should make the first move and all. I have. I have over the years, made tiny little moves and all I can say is that it's not getting me anywhere.

I have tried to seek his approval when I first started dating hubby... I have tried to get him involved in my studies in the Poly... I have tried to get him involved in my 21st Birthday celebration... My wedding, the biggest moment of my life.... and all these lead to nothing. The guy, I call father has not made any changes to show me that he welcomes the change, that he wants to be a part of my life.

Hence, I have also shut him out of my life.

So, don't tell me to make the first move. I have and I had. If I were to stand before God now, I do think I can tell God honestly, yes Lord. I feel nothing for him, but I have tried. Maybe it's not enough I don't know. But I've tried my best.

I know very well this is not the kind of family that I want my children to have. But though I have the ideal family in my mind, I'm not so sure if I can make it happen. I've seen lots of my cousins & friends having children and it's tough. It's VERY tough. And having come from such a family, I honestly and seriously doubt if I will not follow their footsteps. I know that I can place my trust in God and that He can guide me along. It's not that I don't trust him neither do I doubt that he can guide me. My fear is also that I'm too stubborn for my own good.... that I refuse Him entry.

Am I able to make sacrifices like these for my children? I don't know. I really don't know. Godma and a close friend both said they think I am not ready to be a parent. And I totally agree with them.

I would rather not have any. But this is impossible in a marriage. Unless we've tried and we can't then that's a different situation. But knowing Hubby and the rest of the parents, if we, or rather I were to say we'll start trying now, all of them would only be too happy!

A close friend has been sharing that she wished to have children asap. I can feel her yearnings to be a mother. Yet, I'm feeling just a little comprehensive apprehensive on this issue. How does one know that they are ready to take on this huge responsibility of being totally responsible for a totally defenseless and hundred percent dependent little human being?

How does one know that the moral, ethics, education, teachings and all the rest is enough for the child? That the child will turn out well?

There's no answer to this and yet, these are the assurances that I deeply seek before I'm ready to move to the parenthood stage.

In celebration of The Holy Family

For a change, we went to CTK for evening mass. CTK was having a special mass for family and married couples.

I like Fr Yim's homily today. He based his homily on the documentary, "March of the Penguins." I've watched that before so I know what he was talking about.

In a nutshell, the male and female penguins will waddle their way to this secluded area in the Arctic and after the female lays a single egg, she will pass the egg to the male. She will then waddle her way some 100 km away to find food after having gone without food for about 2 months. The males will then huddle together to protect the egg on their feet.

Ideally, the female will return to the male and her chick. But in reality, she may not make it as she can be preyed on or die from the exhaustion. Once, the female dies, it's an additional 2 lives that will be lost as the male will not have enough food store for himself and the chick.

Relating this back to our own families and marriage. When one spouse fails, the whole family unit is affected. But of course, we are humans, with much more intelligence and integrity than a bunch of penguins but the basic is almost the same isn't it?

Both parties need to work very hard to bring the young to the world, nourish, nurtured and guide the young. That's the basic even among animals. Needless to say, us, Humans.

That left a strong impact on me.

The Holy Family consists of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Even the earthly parents of Jesus has their fair share of worries, difficulties and trials. But they have faith in God and all worked out well. I think it's very clear as to the answers as to our own set of issues, marital, parental or otherwise.

There was a couple who shared on their special child. The path was not easy. But they did it with the grace of God. And all I found myself thinking was, "This couple went thru lots for their child, they really have lots of faith in God but please God, please do not give us a special child, I don't want and neither do I think I can handle, but please bless this couple abundantly, bless them with the strength and grace to move forwards."

I was touched and overwhelmed by their sharing. But yet, I still do not believe that I will do the same if I am in their shoes. Such is the wonder of God. He really makes all things possible and even though it's not easy, He is there to guide, to hold, to comfort, to heal, to console, to be everything! As I think back of our recent loss, I can't help but also to thank Him. To thank him for being the almighty and to take care of everything. All I have to do, is really to let go, let Him take over, obey His commands and watch how perfect everything is.

The Family Group in CTK was very sweet, they made arrangements to incorporate a segment where the married couples to take their marriage vows again during the mass.

I was a little embrassed to do it in front of the congregation. But I'm glad we did. It felt really good to have our wedding vows repeated and to be reminded of it. The Family Group really put in a lot of effort, each and every pair of couple was given a tea light in a candle holder, beautifully tied with red organza ribbon and complete with 2 red roses! I believe this really took lots of time. That's not all, after the vows, the whole congregation recited the Family Prayer together as one. The prayer is very meaningful and really all I can say is...

"Thanks be to God most high for all his blessings on me and my family."

I don't know why I'm posting this...

Honestly, it never cross my mind to post this on multiply though I already have a few entries of it on my Blogs.

I want to forget about this whole incident and move on and if you can see this post, it means I trust you enough to not broadcast this further as I've set this post to only be restricted to individuals.

After reading the recent post(s) from Haze mostly on the strings of unfortunate events, I thought I just want to share my own experience with her especially and also some of you who we have mutual friends.

For most of you who are not aware, I was on MC for the last 3 weeks and another 2 weeks before that... and the reason why I was on MC for so long and given so much MC was because I was pregnant.

Now, before you get all excited and start to congrulate me / us, I want to highlight the word "was". Ya. I'm no longer pregnant.

I had a missed abortion in the medical terms and in layman's means miscarriage. I was told to rest and not overwork myself because the moment I knew I was pregnant, I was spotting. The frantic calls to various gynaes, to book appts and all the mixed feelings we had with the Baby. Especially when hubby and I are studying, our time, our finances, our energy is zapped by studies, how to manage a newborn, I seriously don't know. I took jabs, pills and rested as much as I can. After spending more than $1K on these visits and pills and medications, still it did not help. Towards the end, I bled even more.

At week 7, my Gynae could not detect any fetal heartbeat of the baby and my blood tests reveal that my HCG level is dropping.

We were told that my baby will not survive and we have to go thru an operation, D&C, similiar to that of the abortion process to remove the tissues and everything in my womb.

Though we were not fully prepared to be parents, on hearing this piece of news, my world came crashing down. I found it hard to accept that I was pregnant, when we finally got round to accepting that we're going to be parents, we were told the Baby is not developing.

It's hard hearing the news. It's even harder preparing for the operation. Preparing to go thru the operation to remove our Baby that we had come to love in a matter of few weeks was about the worse thing that can ever happen to us in our marriage life thus far.

It feels horrible, even though I know that the little one could not have survive, it did not make the operation any easier.

Anyway, to cut the whole thing short, we went thru the operation. Physically, there's not much pain. Emotionally, it hurt. The knowledge that we had removed our Baby (even though there's no chance of surviving) still pains me sometimes. And of course, a big medical bill la. Hence the $1900 credit bill to be settled. =/

But yet, we believe that there is at least a good thing that comes out from this whole episode. At least we know that we are fertile, at least, we know we can have children. At least, I know now what to expect and what to do the next time I'm pregnant. At least, we did not wait till the miscarriage happened on it's own when I'm alone at home, At least, we did not wait till the baby developed more and then it's adnormal. Or wait till the pregnancy went further along and the attachement is stronger...The list is simply endles...

So Haze, what I want to tell you is, despite all the things that's happening to you right now, know that God is always there, always watching, always keeping you safe in the palm of his hands. He will not leave you hanging and alone.

Hubby says, focus on the good things and things will just fall naturally into place with His grace.

I dare not say that I've gotten over the whole episode. But at least, I can talk about it now, when previously, just a mention of it brings me back to a sobbing child. With the grace of God, I'm slowly but surely recovering.

The baby will live in our hearts always and we know that he/she is with God now. So that's the end of it.

Cindy: Thanks for your concerns when you knew I was on MC for a pretty long time. I was not ready to talk about it then much less on a "public platform" where anyone and everyone can see / read it.

inconsiderate boys!

ARGH!!!!

The sons of my neighbour is seriously pissing off and making me want to just simply march up to their house and make a complain to the parents!

Know what the boy did?!

He left rubbish outside my door!!!!

How I know? I was sitting in the study room, minding my business, and I saw a boy outside, then I heard those plastic cup being brushed against the wall and then on the floor. I stood up and saw that the cup is now there!

Immediately went to open my door and saw that the 2 boys were at the other end of the corridor, standing outside the Malay family. I shouted to them and made them come back here to pick it up.

The younger brother was quite nice, walked over and said sorry. Picked it up and went back and he said "this is not mine, mine is still here, I'm still drinking." Then I said, it's not yours, it's that boy in white right? He said yes.

That boy in white then came over and said sorry too after I raised my voice at him once more. Saying how dare he do leave rubbish outside my door.

I also told him, don't let me catch him again. I'll complain to his parents if he does.

These boys!!! Argh!!! Not the 1st time I scolded them. First time was for them creating a ruckus, running up and down along my corridor. Now is the rubbish!

For the fact of the matter, I noticed there's lots of rubbish always at the drainage opening outside my door and I suspected it's them. Children. But today, I caught him.

Just hope that this will be the last of it. I have no wish to bring it up to the parents. And neither do I want to keep shouting and scolding them. hai...

夫妻相

I don't know why but everytime, I hear someone says that hubby and I have 夫妻相 (husband & wife look, translated directly), I'm very happy and pleased with that.

This morning, Sasa told me via msn that she finds that hubby and I have the couple look (after meeting hubby for the first time last Friday during the BBQ) and it totally made my day! Till now, I'm still basking and glowing from that compliment. =)

Yar, I take it as a compliment. Not sure if others will.. but, I guess, since the both of us have already together with each other (inclusive of pak tor days) for almost 91/2 years, so our looks have sort of grown onto each other?

Kind of cute lei. I like that.

One look or glance and you can see that this woman and this man are a couple. I think that's cool and heart warming.

I feel, if we have each other looks / features, that will make us treasure each other's looks more? Since, I've yet to find anyone who does not like his / her own face! =P

is it me or is it u?

I don't know why, but these last few days, we've just been having cold wars, tiffs on and off.

The worse is, at this moment, I cannot remember what happened yesterday to cause me to be upset at u. Yet, I only remember the negative feelings that I am habouring inside me, since yesterday till now.

And, just now, because of a trival thing, I lost my cool too. I simply hate it when after doing a set of chores, realised, there's other things to be done. This something is what u could have done to make our live better too. Must wait for me to do?

I also hate it when I want to settle down to study / do to my TMA, u keep talking. I was ironing, u could have tell me about ur day or whatever it was that you wanna share. Must wait till I want to study then talk.

ARGG!!

Ok... I got to buck up. I cannot let myself sink so low and just think of all the horrible moments that we shared. Our lives cannot be just misery. What's the point of staying married or getting married if we are both perpetually miserable?!

So... Yups. U have been more proactive recently. Earlier, when I needed to hang my laundry, though you were watching TV, u came to help.

When I was struggling with the ironing board, you helped me flatten it.

Also, for the last few weeks, I've noticed that you boil water without me telling / asking you to.

All these are good signs =)

All right. I shall not dwell on all those times when you irriate me. I shall and must focus on your strengths instead.

*Mental note to self: Look at the good things! Look at the good things!*

I must say...

That Hubby is getting on to be very good at giving comments with my pick of clothings recently!

I showed him a dress from Forever 21.

Me: Nice not? =)
Hubby: nice to see, but i think you wear liao like have bb like that.
Me: eeewwww...

He IS improving lei! He used to just say. "U want to buy ar? Have so many already!"

Same massage packaged in a different way and yet I am so darn happy!

And the said dress in question?

This!
picture taken at Forever21 website.

I think... I talk too much. =(

This morning, just before I came to work, hubby woke up to kiss me "bye" and nice day ahead and he added something which I find rather funny...

He said I sleep talked last night. I was not very surprised since this is not the first time it happened. What surprised me was that this time, he can actually HEAR what I was saying though he cannot make head or tails of it.

He said he heard "this one very cute." and to be honest, I have no idea what prompted that statement from me la. I cannot remember dreaming of anything cutsey last night lei.

The next statement had me bursting out in laughter... Hubby heard "I'm very tired."

hahahaha... Gosh.... I must be really really tired. Even when I'm sleeping I can still mutter a "I'm tired." Really is champion lei!!

No news is Good news?

Hmm... It's already been a few days since Hubby went for the interview... still no news.... Does it mean that no news is Good News? Or does it mean that the job search for Hubby continues...
=S Hope can know the verdict earlier to end this horrifying waiting game.

Or does it simply mean that I am too kan cheong??

Interview at Jalan Pesawat.

Finally after so long, being call up for an interview. I guess this is the job which has been waiting for me, or I should say the job I have been waiting for. It is a regional sales executive, something which I wanted to try out, but not very sure if I can do it well. Anyway, if I really get this job, I will do my best to make it this time. :)

Upset.

Yar... upset at hubby now... not very upset, just not happy and feeling pissed off with him.

I know that when he go meets his potential clients and do presentations, instead of just using the normal file, it will be good to do it with a notebook, so I also bloan him my tablet when he needs to go for these meetings as long as I do not need to bring it with me to class for that particular day.

Last week, when he brought it out and came home with it and just left the tablet on the table, I was feeling abit unhappy, coz that same day, I'm having Stats and that is the 1 class that needs a notebook occasionally. I was hoping to bring it with me to class that day. But when I came home, I saw that hubby just left the notebook on the table without charging for me, this left me with no choice, cannot bring to class, I just left the issue as it was. Just told him, next time, use already remember to charge the battery.

Today =( since I went for class, hubby was working on my notebook. When I came back and switched on my tablet, I saw this on my desktop.

=(

Not that I am particular, but hello... this is my tablet right? If he needs or wants to install or download anything, should he not at least say somthing? I'm ok with the 2 wine folders, coz that's easily deleted and won't take up too much space.

What irks me is that without even informing me, he install some program into my tablet! When I asked, he said that it's the program to view/convert somthing into MP4 or something like that.

I hate it. Coz,
1) it clogs up my desktop.
2) it takes up the space.
3) my tablet when running a few applications is slow and unstable, the program will shut down by itself.

I don't want to load too many things into it coz I really want to delicate it to just plainly for my studies. Without all these new things, I won't be so distracted.

Bottom line, is that since hubby has his own PC as well, granted he cannot be bringing his PC out for the presentations, he still does not need to load extra programs into mine!

I guess, for those of you who are reading it will probably say that I'm just being fussy and particular. He is my hubby lor, need I be so particular with all these?? I know this too, but I still feel upset that he has done it.

Does anyone have a clever explaination to this??

Please enlighten me... Am I being selfish and fussy? I think I am. But can I not be so particular and selfish??? That.... I don't know... Am I willing to try to be less of so... I guess I can, but, the thing is, DO I want to. =(

phone call yet again...

There must be a certain reason(s) why FIL likes to call me.

But believe me, I'm not sure what that particular reason is.

Over lunch with Godma and Bro (we were celebrating Godma's bday) in Sakae Sushi earlier, before my butt even warm the seats, I got a phone call. Saw that the number belongs to PIL's home, I made the decision to not answer it. I know it's bad. But hello.... whatever you need to say, can call hubby right?

But FIL will like to call me and ask about hubby... hai... I feel so trapped. On one hand, I don't want to share things about Hubby with FIL, since he is bound to get worried and concern and then nag. On the other hand, if I do say, then I'm not being 'loyal' to Hubby and worse, later FIL will wanna dig more and more.

So the best? I don't answer lor. Then I don't offend anyone. I know I got to make the call back, so I did. After my lessons ended, I called Hubby and asked him to get FIL to the phone. I know with Hubby there, FIL won't say much. So I'm spared.

But! This trick cannot be used once too many lor.

Next time how ar? =S

must it be like this?

I don't understand.

Because, I expressed my views, my beliefs, my feel and what I think is the fact on it, you became upset.

I think I've been supportive thus far. I've never said a word on your choice. Instead, I've been encouraging you and just try my best to be there for you.

So now, I'm not even allowed to say what I think?

Granted, I may not have said what I said in the right situation, right time, right venue. But is it necessary for you to become like this?

I'm worried too you know. True, life is good to us now, but will it continue to be like this in future? I know you wanna start a family, but owing to circumstances now, we can't, I want that as much as you do too, you know.

Yet, you tell me honestly, at the rate that you are going, do you think we can even afford to have one now?

I don't even feel the security that I once used to have. You think I will wanna bring another person into the world then?

I'm also so afraid that you are turing out to be like my useless ass of a father. There's a saying that "history tend to repeat itself", daughters tend to follow their mother's shoe. If that's true, then...how sad my life will be.

Who is whose cross?

Is hubby my cross to bear or I am hubby's cross to bear?

I've heard the same thing being said in RCIA... marriage is a cross for both parties to bear. But does marriage have to be in such 'agony'? Granted that most times, I claim that it's hubby whose making me irriated and pissed off. But as I sit down now to reflect, am I being a cross to hubby too? Just that his way of showing is different from me?

Hubby after making an entry, asked me to read and tell him what I think and feel.

I did.

I felt stumped at what he wrote. Cause, I suddenly felt that our life together seems to be in 'misery' and 'agony' rather than the 'enjoying married life'. I do feel a little guilt at treating hubby the way I did.

Hubby was quite sweet, having seen my reaction and hearing me out, he added, "must be because, he had been eating too much recently, hence his weight is more than I can bear."

This really brought a smile to my lips. Trust him to say the funniest and heart warming things at this moment.

But still, I still do feel slightly bad, for making him feel lousy. Making him feel that he is the cause of all my unhappiness (though he's the indirect cause), that he got to behave himself like a little boy who is told "unless you behave, I don't love you".

I do! I do love you, Darling. I guess, I'm too much of a FCB to back down during the situation. Please forgive me too. =(

I am Her Cross

When we were in RCIA, I think I heard people say that in marriage, we are each others cross to bear, and it is a cross that God have given us so that we can learn and grow.

It is on the cross that Jesus die and save us from sin.

I think I am really my wife's cross. I think sometime she is really really mad at me. I have really do things which test her almost beyond her limit. But like I say earlier, all this is for her to grow. I am her big cross to bear, and I was thinking to myself why did I do what I did. One reason I could think of is because I am her cross and God have place me here to test her. I hope I don't give her so much trouble from now.

It's the nth day.

Ever since the last time when my family in law came over during Christmas and my YBIL irked me so much, I've not seen my family in law. None of them.

I told hubby that I will not want to step foot into my PIL's hse for the next 2 months then I reduce to a month coz I figured 2 months is simply too long and I have no valid reason to not go for so long.

So, yeah. Since Christmas, I've not seen any of them. And I've not been to PIL's hse for 27 days (and counting). But, according to hubby, FIL is begining to question why I've not been there. Blame me for my stubborness, but I still refused to go.

My reasons for not gng are simple. These few days, weeks, I've been so bogged down with the mad house that I've been knocking off late. Like 7pm or so. And hubby recently is so "happening" meetings with his $$ mastery, MLM and goodness knows who, he's out almost everynight. So cannot be I go to PIL's plc and hubby not there right?

Ok, bottom line is that these are still excuses. Excuses for my stubbornness in not going.

But after so many people have been advising me to go and see the parents, I guess, I have no other choice but to move my ass down. swallow my stubborness. Hubby said that almost everyday, FIL will asked if I'm going for dinner. I don't think he miss me so much la. I think the old folk just find it weird that how come their son come alone without the wife. The most funny thing was that FIL asked hubby if we are all right. I think he must have been worried that we argued and all.

So, no choice, I got to move my butt over soon. One of these week nights for dinner. And hubby picked Thursday.

Nothing on for that night for himself and me. Just that how fanastic. Instead of just seeing YBIL, I may get to meet OBILL too! -_-"

Great isn't it?!

Full steam ahead

Okie... Finally the weekend is here.

Christmas is 2 days away. Isn't it wonderful? I'm so looking forward to it.

Presents, food, gatherings, fun and merry making! I love it!

But before all these, I'm gonna have a full and busy weekend. But I'm looking forward towards it. Hope you all have a good and merry christmas too!

Still just me.

Well, Hubby went off to meet some friends who claims that he has lobang for jobs.

I'm home alone. I don't mind. Having a good time, blogging, msn-ing and watching TV at the same time.

Hubby is still down with flu and slightly feverish. Hope he will recover soon. Quite poor thing to hear him sniffing and sneezing around all the time. While for myself, I can feel the gas and acid still in my stomach and it will create the cramps and pains which will send me to scurry for my medicine.

Was supposed to go for Kick box this evening, but had dinner at home and I think not wise to risk me throwing up food and also my gastric is still not under control, will try to go tomorrow instead.

Already close to 11pm and hubby is still not home yet. I realised when hubby has to go for his $ mastery thing, he usually comes home quite late. I'm not complaining but I'm just concerned if his body can take it especially when he's not well now. Also, we seem to be seeing lesser and lesser of each other lately.

Granted that we are on MSN, but after work, we seem to have our own individual activities. He has his $ masterly things and will be back late, shortly after he comes home, we will go to sleep. Or it will be me with some kind of activites after work.

I think, when my course starts, we will have even lesser time for each other. At times, I wonder, would it have been better if we were not married and study? Coz we will still have our family to do the meals, clothes and whatever else necessary for us. While we just work and study. If, we grow apart, then so be it, coz there's no committment for us both.

But, we are married now, not only, we got to study and work, we got to also work hard at our marriage. It's normal for us to not have time for each other, but how will this affect our marriage and our live together?

Maybe, once again, I am thinking too much and worrying too much. Not that I don't have faith in hubby, myself nor our marriage, but I believe that there is no need for us to put our marriage to the test unncessarily. And somehow, this study bit, in my mind IS putting our marriage to a certain amout of test.

ARGG!!!