why?

Why must we always argue because of OBIL?

Don't you know that I am super sick of arguing with you over HIM?! Yes, I DISLIKE him! Period. Can't you STOP being such a soft person and say yes to EVERYTHING he asked or says?!

Why must you always either hide information from me? Lie to me? With regards to him, why cannot you tell me the truth and be 100% honest?

Just what arrangements you have with him that you CANNOT let me know?

Yes, I DISLIKE him, and at the moment now, I feel it would really be much much much better if you either be totally honest with me or you can go and stay with your beloved brother!

ARGHH!!!!

unfair treatment!

Me feeling depressed and unfairly treated!!

While we were coming home after Yoga earlier, I asked hubby if we are going out. He asked me where I want to go and then I suggested Ikea Tampinese. He came home, checked the shuttle services and then when we both realised that there is not shuttle bus, we decided to not go and think of another place instead.

But throughout the whole discussion and even this morning, while we were gng to Yoga, he kept grumbling and mumbling that he's so tired coz I dragged him to go shopping with me yesterday. That his back is sore and that he is tired.

HELLO!!

Yesterday after shopping, then he shd sleep early lor and not be watching TV and all lor. PISSED lei!!

Kept on saying that it was me who dragged him shopping hence so tired. *BASKET*

Then I told him, Wakin is Zhou Hua Jian (recently a friend's friend made his proposal to his GF during the concert) and I was wondering who on earth Wakin is! Then when I finally found out, I told hubby since he also don't know. Damn!! Hubby was sooooo engrossed in watching his TV that I got to say 2,3 times Wakin is Zhou Hua Jian, and hubby in turn say I din tell him things rightly?!

Damn it!!! Cannot blame me if his brain cannot register what I told him a few days ago and that his brain is not fast enough to link the conversation together and his brain is sooooo fixed on the TV that he's not listening to me right?!

DAMN!!!

All my fault.

Home alone again... and a tiff...

Hubby on night shift tonight, just left for office. Me alone at home now again. But this is not a very routine thing..So I guess, I should just learn to enjoy the rare times that I can be alone and of course have the whole bed to myself. But I'm not feeling the jubilation leh..

*sigh*

And before he left, we had a tiff. Not any major tiffs or anything serious. But just a silly argument over the bamboo poles.

Coz he was at home today, coz only working tonite, he did the laundry. That's very sweet of him, YES, I know. But after the did the laundry, the silly boy hid the short bamboo pole that we used daily. And after bathing, I lost my eyes, I cannot find the pole, my hp was ringing.. that silly boy just stood there holding out my hp to me, saying, "ur mom". DUH!! Can't he answer it? It made my already tense mood of not finding the pole worse. N then he told he, there.. I was like how on earth could I have seen it?! I no eyes after bathing 1 lor. Don't he know?

*Sigh*

So, finally, he dig out the pole from the corner, which was blocked by the hanging laundry and I answered the my hp. And that was the tiff all about. A silly misplaced bamboo pole + a ringing hp.

*Sigh*

I hate it when he got to leave for office at night and we have a tiff. I hate it when we got to leave the hse upset at each other. I hate it when we do not make up with each other before saying "Bye". And I ESPECIALLY hate it when we do not end our partings with a hug, good thoughts, feelings and "I Love You's"

But very luckily for us this time, we manage to overcome our anger and upset-ness at each other and still say our bye's and I Love You's. Call me silly or whatever, but I like it when we part our ways with all these 'nice' things. Some of my friends commented then it becomes a habit. I guess, to a certain extent, it IS a habit. But it's a nice habit, don't you think so?
It makes the re-ship more loving and of course, we each go off with positive and loving thoughts towards each other.

This may sound morbid, but hey.... if anything happens, at least, the last thing we said to each other is "I Love You" and "God Bless You" and the very last time we touched each other was in a warm, embracing hug! This may be the very last things that we say to each other and do with each other.. we never know, what's going to happen right?
And rather than thinking of what we did not have the chance to say to each other, I think these 2 phrases and a hug sums it all up.

... ...

Still not in the best of moods today. Still recovering from the blessed doors 2 nights ago. I know it is not healthy to let the anger simmer and boil for so long. But truth be told, I am not angry nor upset that the incident happened. I am more upset than anything that I'm taken for granted. I simply don't understand why must he keep doing the things that I specifically told him to not do.

It's either I don't make myself clear enough as it is or he simply gets a kick in doing things that irriate me. Or maybe my threshold of irritating things are lower than the average normal human beings? I don't know.

Still not not talking to him yet. U can call it the middle of the cold war. Yes, he did explain to me why he did wat he did last nite and that he can understand my concerns. My point is, if he can understand my concerns, then why do it in the first place when he knows that I will be irriated and angry over it?? Then again, one can also argue that since he knows he is at fault, then 'forget and forgive' lor. Yeah. I know that too.

I can forgive but I cannot forget. Coz I cannot forget the way he makes me feel. The irresponsible actions that he did. I cannot forget that he knows I will be upset if he does it and he went on ahead to do it. Throwing cation to the winds.

I cannot forget that we stay at a corridor unit and burgalary is very 'convenient' for those who intend to break in. I cannot forget that it is thru our own carelessness that we allow this to happen. I cannot forget that he says robbers will choose richer family to break in.. (as though the bulgars will know which families are rich. HA!) I also cannot forget the danger that we are allowing this to happen to us. My heart missed a beat when I pushed opened the door. Afraid that something terrible has happened. I know that even if we locked the doors, misfortune can still happen, but it gives us that few mre seconds to pick up the darn phone and dial "999"? No? Rather than having the whole hse wide open and let anyone have their own way in our hse and our lives?

Yes, SG is a safe country but who is to say that this will not start fm my home? No one! No one can say that.

Yes, I am still upset. I am more upset that he disregards my fears, concerns and doesn't even care! I can live with unlock doors if it 100% will NOT threaten my life and my home. But that can never be the case.

So who can blame me for kicking up a huge fuss this time? This is really one time too often.

Grrrrrr!!!

Gosh.. I can't believe it! I'm fuming. F-U-M-I-N-G! GRRRRR!! And who am I soooo fuming mad about? The man I called HUSBAND!

Just what is so darn bloody hard to lock either the gates or the wooden door after coming home? True! I don't have to be so upset over this locking of doors biz. The catch is, I have already compromised with him!! and he is just taking me for granted! Basket!!! GRRRRRR!!!!!!!

The very first time, he left all doors unlocked. Sure, I kicked up a fuss and in the end, we reach a compromised, as long as there is someone in the hall, the doors can be unlocked or just lock either the gate or the door.

So along the way, there are also many incidents where we forgot to lock or he din keep to his part of his bargain, I closed an eye.

BUT YESTERDAY IS TOO MUCH LOR!!!!

NOT in the hall and all doors unlock. I can't take it anymore. I lost my temper at him. I really really don't understand, I told him nicely, told him in english, told him in mandrain, shouted at him, flared up at him but it just don't work!!!

I don't know how to communicate to him. I feel he is soooooooo irresponsbile. Threw the safety of our home to the winds. I am upset. no.. I am more than upset. First is coz he once again ignored what I said before. And I am more upset that he cannot understand.

This morning, I din wait for him as our usual practise. Coz I had no inention to eat bf at hm in the 1st plc coz of the graduation ceremony. Maybe coz I am still upset. Tat also resulted in my 'storming' off. But wat upset me off, is the fact that, HE CANNOT REMEMBER & CANNOT UNDERSTAND.

Simply put, take me for granted. Not taking notice of wat I said. I have already told him many many times but he...

I don't know what language or how to communicate with him. I don't know what other language to use.

I think I am more sad than angry at this moment. And I really have no wish to talk to him now. Not last night, not today, not even later. I really really feel we used to be happier when we were dating.

Doing Wrong thing at a Wrong Time

Last Night was really a very lousy night. After the dinner at my in law place we went to take some bread and my wife was eyeing on the durain all those time when we were walking to the shop where her mother is working. To cut the story short, we went home and her mother call her to go back to the store to buy durain, so I went home alone and she went to buy durain.

After I reach home, I was thinking since my wife is coming back soon, so I just leave the door unlock, but closed. Then I wanted to watch TV and wait for her, but I saw the clothes hanging in the room, so I thought it would be sweet of me to do some house work before she comes home rather then watching TV. So I went ahead to keep the clothes. As I was keeping the clothes in the room, she came home, and shouted from outside to ask me to open the door for her. So I call out loudly that the door was not lock. My nightmare starts from then. The moment she came in the house, she shouted at me and said:

"Why din you lock the door, robber could have just come in like that. How many time must I tell you to lock the door after you come in. You cannot understand english is it. Then what language must I say then you can understand."

Well, first thing first, I think if I am a robber, I will not rob this family. I will rob someone who look richer than me. And I dont think there are so many robber out there to rush into ones house to rob, at least not in Singapore I think. It is ture that we should be careful when we open and close the door, maybe I really took sercuity for granted. But in the first place I wanted to help with house work that's why I was not in the living room when she came home. I was also very upset with the things she said, like wat language must I say then you can understand. I was angry and I was thinkning in my mind, "why dont you try speaking in Malay, maybe I can understand better." I know she was very upset with me, because she was shouting louder and louder. The only way I know to get out of this situation is to keep quiet and let her cool down before talking to her. I know I am wrong to take sercuity for granted, but does she have to shout. I know the more I say the more angry she will get, and I can sense that her anger had taken over her. She cannot control her voices. Well I think only lar.

After the shouting, she went on with her shower, and I went to other room to do some execise, and after that I refused to talk to her. As we went watching TV, I can sense that she was not as angry as just now, but still I refuse to talk to her. I was also very upset with the things she say, who can blame me for not wanting to talk to her.

This morning, I think she must be still angry with me. I was also a bit upset with her, but still, I poured her a glass of milk as I finished "dressing up" before her. I wanted to wait for her to have the breakfast together, but she took too long to dress up and she only drank the milk and took the bread to office to eat. When we were going out, I though we could have a bit of time to talk, but she went off with the lift before I could finish locking the door. Since she is so determine to dun talk to me, we will see how things go tonight.

Life not smooth... Hot weather...

These few days I must be doing something not very right. My wife keep upset with me. Hai... so sain. Sunday early morning being shouted, for not waking up on time. Then also some small thing here and there for the rest of the day. I think is because the weather is getting hot. I also feeling the heat liao. Hopefully things will change for the better. If not there will be more trouble for me.