Mammoth Task!

I've completed the mammoth task of labelling each and every single post here so that it's easier to read and sort and find.

And damn!!! There's something wrong with the title bar, I just can't add in a title. Got to keep trying and trying!

I'm home alone.

Hubby off to KL for his "Money Mastery" boot camp today and will only be coming home on Tuesday next week.

But I won't be too lonely coz tonite is the last nite of the Triduum mass in CTK, tml morning is our usual yoga session followed by breakfast. Just made a date with my sis to go shopping tml afternoon. =) Sunday, morning is mass, then go home to continue with the chores and to rest and re-charged for the Blue Blue Working Monday.

Time flies.

Already have my weekend planned out. Weekend is sooo precious, the time that I have seems to just fly by. Before I have even rested well enough, it's another week and another day!

Monday nite as usual is yoga and this time I will be going alone since hubby is not back yet. I heard that this coming session we are going to do yoga therapy. No idea what it means but I think it must be important coz the instructor keeps reminding us to be present. Too bad hubby will miss it. I will open my eyes and ears to see and to hear and then teach hubby when he comes back lor. haha..

Tuesday, he's back. Goody!

Playing Hide and Seek.

OBIL went on a 3D2N cruise with his GF yesterday and he asked hubby to drive his car back instead of parking it at the harbor front car park which is a smart choice. Can you imagine how much it will costs to park there for that long a period?!

Since I went for kickbox this evening, hubby went back home for dinner and I think my family in law enjoys car rides. FIL quite cute I feel, he brought the whole family on a cruise. To Geylang to see the Hari Raya Lights and also to Little India for the Deepavali lights too. Along the way, they passed by some famous pao shop and MIL bought a pao each even for me though I was not there. I must say my PIL are quite concern about us. Most times, they will buy something or take some food for us if there are access.

Coz I am too stubborn for my own good, I know FIL will offer to drive us back home if I went home for dinner, hence I choose to go kickbox. I simply refuse to step foot into OBIL’s car. I rather take public transport than to take his car.

Hubby is darn lazy and I think he’s being such a baby! He actually asked FIL to come to pick him at home to go for work for today and tomorrow! I can’t believe it, he’s already a grown man and he still ask that his dad to come fetch him and all! And my FIL actually acceded to his request! Kind of make me feel that he’s like a young child who cannot do things on his own. And this is making me loose respect for him.

This morning, FIL came to fetch him and I badly want to avoid him. Hence, I tried to leave earlier so that I won’t have to tell lies of why not take a ride.

But timing and his eyes so sharp lor. He saw me as I was walking down the stairs and he horned me! I quickly say that I’m taking the bus and that hubby was waiting for him and left. Since, there’s only 1 way out from our place to go to the main road. I know for sure that I will bump into FIL (at the bus stop) again if my bus don’t come. Indeed! My bus din come on time, and I saw the car slowing down near the bus stop.

Thankfully, I had the cow sense to sit with my back facing the road. Heng ar… Avoided him.

According to hubby, FIL did ask why I din want to take car ride and all. But he manages to cook up some story la.

I really am being too stubborn for my own good. But in my own opinion, I am just merely sticking to my own principles lor. Since he make trouble for me, the less things I have to deal with him the better and definitely, I don’t want to be in his favor!

Honestly now, I cannot remember when I starting having all these negative opinions on OBIL. Was it from the time I knew about his treatment of YL or was it from the time that he said those things?

I know I should not be judging him for his actions and speech and all. But the mention of his name irks me. I think of all the things that YL had to go thru coz of him, I think of the comments that he told PIL in front of us and this really makes me dislike him all the more.

How? I need help. I S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y need help!!! But I know, this “help” cannot be coming from hubby. Coz they are siblings, whatever hubby says, I disregard more than 80%. I need someone who is more partial more neutral so that I CAN pay some attention to.

Definitely no use talking to my Godma, we ARE on the same side, the SAME opinion of OBIL!

Asshole OBIL!!!

2 very big pears

Had dinner at my mom's plc a few nights ago and she said my sisters want to eat pears, so she go and cut but well, my sisters were either in the room or watching TV programmes, I din hear anyone say anything about eating pear and thus retorted back. "Where got la, it's u say they want to eat leh and no cut for me, so unfair!"

And last nite, she called me to go and find her at the bakery and she gave me these.

Wah lau!

The pears darn big leh!! I cannot hold 1 tightly with just 1 hand leh!

So went home happily and cut 1 of it. Really very big, very juicy and very very sweet.

Nice!!!

Hubby says it's sour (but I already cut very deeply in, so that he won't taste the parts of the seeds!)

DANG!!!

I see an Angel

This is a beautiful sad story which I got fm email fm my Godma. Talks about the pregnancy and birth of an unborn child. Read on...

I have always been fascinated by wind chimes. When I was little, I thought they were clever, for they made the wind visible by dancing along it. More recently, I have come to realize there are things in life just as real as the wind that we can only see with our hearts.

At my home near Kuala Lumpur, I stop what I am doing to listen as my favorite chime creates tones like distant church bells. My mind wanders back to the day in June 1996 when I suspected I was pregnant.

I had bought a home pregnancy test kit and was carefully following the instructions.

Dear Lord, I prayed, please let it be positive. The results seemed to be taking a long time. Then, with the magical suddenness of a rainbow, the pink line materialized.

As I looked at the positive test result, my joy was intertwined with fear. Please let me have this baby, I prayed. Seth and I, married for seven years, were childless. I had conceived several times, but the pregnancies had ended in miscarriage. With each loss, my world would turn upside down.

Over the years, numerous gynecologists reassured me that the miscarriages happened because the fertilized eggs were just not good enough. It was nature’s way of making sure that only the most healthy ones made it, the doctors said.
After my gynecologist confirmed that I was pregnant again, Seth and I put up a new wind chime in our home to celebrate the gift of life. The chime was ordinary, with its long, hollow shafts and wooden pendulum, but the music it made was divine.

As the Dangerous first 12 weeks passed, my joy increased. At prenatal checkups, I watched my baby’s growth on the ultrasound monitor.
In the fifth Month, I asked the doctor if he could determine the gender, but he said the baby was being mischievous by lying on his side. I felt sure it was going to be a boy. He would look like his father, whom I loved with all my heart.

Then in the 29th week, my water broke and the baby started moving frantically. At the medical center, the doctor told me there was a high probability that I would go into early labor. If the baby was born, he would need a ventilator to survive.

My world suddenly became gray and cold. Somehow, I knew the worst had begun.

I went to a Catholic missionary hospital, which had a ventilator available. Slowly, my contractions lessened and the baby’s heartbeat seemed stronger. After 12 days, I returned home under strict orders to confine myself to complete bed rest.

On the first night of the36th week, labor set in and we rushed to the hospital. As my doctor examined me he said nothing, but the sorrow in his eyes told me all I needed to know. He took my hand and said he could not hear the baby’s heartbeat. My baby was dead.

Not wanting to risk complications from a Caesarean, he recommended that I deliver naturally. The next nine hours were the longest of my life. As the contractions grew closer together, I begged God for a miracle.

Finally, at 12:33 p.m. on February 18, I gave birth to our son. Unlike other deliveries, there was no baby’s cry, the doctor did not congratulate the parents, and the nurses did not coo over the newborn. Instead the doctor tried to spare me by keeping the baby aside and consoling me that the ordeal was over.But it was not over for me. I insisted that my baby be brought to me. When I saw him, I laughed and cried at the same time. He was beautiful, the spitting image of his father. His mouth was curled. His nose was both rounded and pointed. He had long black hair, thick eye-lashes and almond-shaped eyes. He looked as if he had a million gurgles inside him but he made no sound.

We named our son Joshua and gave him the best we could – the finest clothes, fresh yellow roses and ultimately the most beautiful baby-blue urn we could find for his ashes. Seth and I held the urn as the boat took us out to sea. When the boat stopped, I didn’t want to let go. After many tears, the urn was placed into the receiving arms of the gentle azure waves.

When I went for my postnatal checkup, a month after the delivery, I felt so incomplete. All the other mothers had newborns in their arms.
At home, Joshua’s wind chime reminded me of my loss. Many times I thought about taking it down, but I couldn’t. It was my remaining symbol of joy and hope.

Sometimes I felt as if I were going to spend the rest of my days in pain. But as days passed, I began to realize that my brief time with Joshua was itself a blessing. If my pregnancy had ended earlier, like the others, I would never have had the chance to feel him growing inside me, to see his beautiful face and to touch him.

My memories were a balm to the hurt. In time, my darkness lifted.
There are moments when my heart still aches, and then I pause to watch the chime in its gentle dance with the wind. And my spirits lifts as, once again, I see my angel Joshua.
-By Ranjeet Khaira-

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After reading this story, it reminds me of a person, my ex ex work mentor. She was also in a similiar situation but weather you coined it lucky or unluckier, it is the fact that her BB survived for 18 months...

I'm not sure if it is the name "Joshua" or what, but BB boys by this name all seem to be down with something. I hope I am wrong, coz it is such a nice name.

I feel so sorry for the mothers who had to go thru the same thing.

1 down 3 more to go!

Guess what?

1 more of our installment ended this month! And this time, it is the installment for the 四点金 but more like is 四点diamonds lor. This was what my PIL gave us $ to buy last year before the wedding. But coz, hubby and I decided that we want the cash, so we took the cash and paid for the items in installments using credit card.

I remember I asked Godma to go and choose with me @ Lee Hwa. I choose a necklace with pendant, a pair of earrings and a bracelet. Total costs was more than $1.7K. So during this time last year, the $ was really handy. Helped us with bridal things and house things.

Currently, we have 3 more installment plans to pay.. out of which, 2 will be ending in Sep.. hooray hooray!! The last one, was a 2 year installment plan.. Gosh.. Why did we sign so long I cannot remember but don't care and worry so much for now.. All I know is, with effect from Oct 06, we are almost debt free!! *yeh* =)

Did we?

Got this from email thru a friend.

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,"How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...
Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Indeed... Love is a Decision. (This was what we heard when we went through MPC and still we are getting messages like this after marriage.) When hubby upsets and irriates me, it is really hard to remember that I choose to marry him... But having said all these, since we made the decision, then I guess, we can only do out best and stick to the decision then.

our needs..

Sometimes, I'm wondering, how do I tell the difference between my needs and wants?

Hubby is starting to pay attention to this "need" and "wants". According to the book I read, "His needs, her needs."

Men and women has different needs and expect different needs from each other. But basically, there are 10 things which is in common between the both sex just that all the needs ranked differently.

I wonder, just how different are the both of us in ranking our needs?

decided!

Well... here we are, we have decided to start a marriage blog. (if there is such a thing anyway.) haha..

Both hubby and I have decided that we should continue with our habbits of journal writting. And with the invention of modern technology, we ditched our journal writting by hand (Yup, we used to keep a journal in which we both put in at least 2 entry per week, then dwindled down to when we have things to write) and switched to blogging instead.

Kinda miss the times when we actually jounal in our dairy. I still remember fondly the time when hubby and I 1st DIY our our journal. It was quite a few years back and our 1st "project" together. We DIY almost everything, we made the cover from an old file and lotsa newspaper to give the cover a "cushionly" feel and then buy ribbons, papers, I still remember when hubby drew me a picture of this boy and girl fm a T-shirt I used to have, I coloured it, wrapped it in plastic and then we both thought of ways and methods to put everything in place.. It took a few months.. and finally when the whole thing was completed. We both looked at it and really! Tears of JOY came to the both of us at the same time. At that moment, I cld sense wat hubby was thinking.. our 1st "BB" completed!!

That was really sometime ago.. at least 5 years. But yet, the memory is still fresh and vivid in my mind. That memory and the special journal is something special and I will really treasure.

Sad to say, we no longer write in that journal anymore... but now.. with this blog. Maybe, we can pick up that habbit again.

The entries, really make it v special to us both. We write dw our thoughts, feels, anger, disappointment and happiness in it. And it really made us know each other better and gives us insight into each other lifes. Not to mention, it helps us both to reflect mre on what has happened...

Hubby, I Love You! :*